On Using BabyWise

I’ve been composing this for a little while now.  Trying to keep it from being a rant.

I didn’t realize BabyWise was so polarizing until I read some reviews of the book.  People seem to either love it or hate it.  It is either the best thing since sliced bread or paramount to child abuse.  Most of the criticism (especially listed here) talks about dehydration and the infants failure to thrive, obviously very serious issues.  My problem with that is more with the parents, not the book.  It is a book, a guideline.  It is not law.  No one is forcing you to follow it and no baby fits a book 100%.  Where’s the common sense?  Where’s the maternal instinct that says ‘my baby is hungry, f** the book, I will feed her’?

I first read the book when I was pregnant.   There were sections I read but that didn’t stick with me.  I remember times in the first few weeks when she would cry earlier than the 2.5 - 3 hour schedule.  After checking her diaper and trying to soothe her I would get ready to feed her.  My husband questioned my actions but I did it anyway, my baby was hungry.  After feeding her, I went back to the book and re-read the sections that described the feeding schedule for the first few weeks.  Suddenly it popped out at me: “if your baby is hungry, feed her”.  Over and over and over, like a refrain through the multiple chapters.  “If your baby is hungry, feed her.  Then figure out why she was hungry early.”  They even state it twice in one paragraph in the ‘Problem Solving’ chapter.  

There was also a section on jaundice that I don’t remember reading that said a jaundiced baby will need to eat more often, 2 - 2.5 hour intervals rather than 2.5 - 3 hours.  Cora had jaundice and her bilirubin numbers didn’t even out until she was over one week old.  It wasn’t information that stuck out to me until I needed it.  After re-reading parts of the book I felt much more prepared and able to handle at least this one aspect of motherhood.

BabyWise is good advice.  But it is just that, advice.  Take it with a grain of salt.  You don’t take the grandma at the grocery store’s advice as if it’s law (or at least you shouldn’t), don’t take this as law either.  I have found it to be valuable advice, especially early on, but I also find myself moving off from it now.  According to the book I should be stretching Cora’s feedings to be 4 hours apart.  I’ve been trying for a few weeks now to adjust her schedule but it has been much harder.  She’s more fussy and has woken up from naps early, and hungry.  

I’ve tried to figure out why and the conclusion I’ve come to is that her metabolism is higher.  My husband’s is, so it fits.  She’s a petite baby who’s never ‘packed on the pounds’ as some babies seem to, though her growth has been consistent.  So, after taking into consideration the advice in the book, I’ve made the decision as a parent to not follow the book to the letter.

One of the most helpful parenting/feeding advice came from a different book that I also recommend: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg.  She said “start as you mean to go on”.  In other words don’t do anything now you don’t want to be doing when the child is 4 years old (like allowing them to sleep in your bed) and do start doing the things you want them to do when they are 4 years old (like eating at allotted meal times and taking naps).  Looking at my decisions in the light of this advice has made it easier.

And yet I have only scratched the surface.  I have so much more to learn. 

To Kindle or not to Kindle

I love books.  The summer after my senior year in high school I worked at The Book Warehouse, boxes and boxes of cheap books. I constantly had a stack of books behind the counter that I was going to buy once I got paid.

When I first heard of the kindle and reading ‘ebooks’ I was skeptical, and pretty certain that would never be me.  But this Christmas I asked for one.  Well, I said I think I would like one.  Which was closer to the truth, I was still a little skeptical.  But it looked convenient, especially for travel.  And I always like to have a book with me because you never know when you will end up waiting long enough to want something to read.

I’ve had it for a couple months now and here are the pro’s and con’s.

What I like about the kindle: 

-It’s very portable.  I don’t have to choose which book I may be in the mood for when I leave the house.  I can take multiple books with me; with the 3G I am taking them all with me.  

-Even if I’m reading a thousand pager, like The Count of Monte Cristo, it takes up the same amount of space in my bag.  

-No one can tell what I’m reading.  I can read sappy Christian romance or War and Peace all with the same cover.

What I don’t like about the kindle: 

-No one will be impressed I am reading War and Peace instead of a sappy romance.  No one will know if my copy of a favorite classic is creased and worn.

-There is no weight of thousands of pages making an indent on my hand.  I haven’t decided if this is a pro or con.  Perhaps it belongs in both categories.

-A book doesn’t get a dead battery.  Which is especially annoying when you forget to charge it like I did today.  Sitting in a coffee shop with no book is worse than having to pick just one to bring with me.

-The question of “what are you reading?” can no longer be wordlessly answered by holding up the book.  I must interrupt my reading to answer, that is if I want to admit what I’m reading.  So here’s another pro - I can lie and say I’m reading War and Peace.

(I've never actually read War and Peace, it just sounds impressive.)

I also still have a problem buying books for the kindle.  So far I have only downloaded free books.  When my free library loan of the Fellowship of the Ring expired with two chapters left to read I couldn’t bring myself to click the ‘buy this book now’ button.  I don’t own it yet so it wouldn’t have been superfluous.  I had to check the physical book our of my physical town library from a real life librarian in order to finish those two chapters because I decided if I’m going to buy the book I want it to be a physical copy not an ‘ebook’.

I do like my kindle, and will be reading from it later today.  Once it's charged of course.

Cooking with Cast-Offs

First a few of my friends went Paleo.  Then my sister.  Then my mom.  In a nutshell (a Paleo approved nutshell that is), Paleo = eat meat, and fruit, veg, some nuts are okay but not all, no grains, no processed foods, and no foods a caveman wouldn’t eat.  Basically going back to a hunter-gatherer diet.  Both my sister and my mom are chronicling their Paleo recipes on their blogs (check them out!).  The food looks good but I agreed with my dad when he said a caveman wouldn’t use leftover pizza as a doorstop and that he hunts in the fridge and gathers what he finds.

I love carbs.  I’m a mac and cheese girl.  I love fresh baked bread so warm the butter melts.  (Why yes I did just make some today.  From my mother’s Molasses Oatmeal recipe no less.  After I got rid of the dead mouse in my kitchen.  Story for another time.  It was as gruesome as it sounds.)  So no, I can’t go Paleo.  Here’s another reason.  My mom would have no one to foist all her non-Paleo food on if I did.  

I dropped my daughter off at Grandma’s last week for my first day back to work.  As a New Year’s resolution mom was eating Paleo and had bags of non-Paleo food (canned beans, cereal, cake mix, canned soup, crackers, etc) to get rid of.  Pushing aside the thought that my mom’s purging her ‘unhealthy’ food by giving it to her daughter, I gladly took the free food.

Not to be outdone, I decided to chronicle my own recipe.  I made dinner that night with some of the ingredients.

So here is my very un-Paleo dinner.  It was yummy.

(Recipe basics from the back of the Campbell’s Cheddar Cheese soup can.)

Cheesy Chicken Chili 

1 tbsp. olive oil

1 lb chicken cut into cubes

1 large onion, chopped

1 large green pepper, diced

1 large red pepper, diced

1 can Campbell’s Condensed Cheddar Cheese soup, plus 1/2 can of water

(I usually just measure in my hand so I’m not sure the amounts of spices)

1/2 tsp. cumin

1/2 tsp. chili powder

1 can kidney beans

Farro (or other rice/grain) prepared according to package

Heat oil in skillet and cook chicken until browned.  Set aside.  Saute onion, peppers.  Stir in soup, water, spices.  Heat to a boil.  Add cooked chicken and beans.  Heat thoroughly and until chicken is cooked.  Serve over rice/grain.

The finished product.  My husband and I both really liked the Farro.  We thought it was much better than brown rice.

A Piece of Writing is Never Finished

I started re-reading Lord of the Rings and because I was reading on my kindle I ended up reading the bits at the beginning "Notes on the Text".  I usually just skip past introductions and forwards except in Lit class when we had to, or I could use it as a source for an essay.  But I didn't skip this one and I learned something new.  Tolkien was plagued by misprints (the editors 'corrected' his writing by changing dwarves to dwarfs and elvin to elfin, among others) and he rewrote vast parts of the book each time it was reprinted.  For over 10 years he rewrote parts of the novel (it is really one long book in 3 volumes, not a trilogy).  So with Tolkien as my example I decided to revise my last post.  I had written it quickly, trying to get it up before the game got too embarrassing.  So here is a revised version.  Sometimes revision comes quickly: cutting and slicing at unnecessary words; other times it is slow going, reading the sentences over and over hoping for inspiration on how to make it cohesive.  Usually the difference is whether I like the piece or not.  I didn’t particularly like this one, both because I rushed it and because we lost.  But I did find I answered the question differently after thinking about it more.

When I was a kid, Psalty the Singing Songbook sang to ‘do your best and let God do the rest’.  To my six year old self that meant making half my bed and letting God do the rest.  Obviously that didn’t work.  Now I understand it a little differently.  It is the paradox of knowing that God has given me the ability to accomplish something and also completely relying on Him for my strength, for without Him I am thoroughly inadiquate.  God does want us to do our best with what He has given us.  But He also promises to never leave us or forsake us.  

There have been a lot of comments about God not caring about football and that He has a lot more important things to do then help the Broncos win football games.  But is that really true? Does God care about football?  I pray before I go to work.  There are many things that try my patience as a teacher so every morning I pray for patience.  Patience for the children, for my co-workers, for myself when I make mistakes that seem inevitable.  Yes, God has given me compassion for children and talent to work with them; but I still need His help to get through a day sometimes.  Is Tebow praying before the game any different from me praying for patience before I go into school?  He is using his God given talent in the career he has chosen and praying for God to be glorified through it.  What could be more important to God than one of His children asking for His strength to walk out the path He has set?

Given that, I now say yes, God does care about football.  Because His creation is involved.  We are His creation and God cares about people.  He cares about Tim Tebow (Tom Brady too for that matter).  He loves Tim Tebow (and yes, Tom Brady too).  Not because they win or loose football games but because they are His creation.  He loves them just because.  Perhaps the more important thing God has to do than helping the Broncos win football games is reveal Himself to the high school quarterback who is hearing Tim Tebow glorify God.  God doesn’t leave Tim Tebow just because he steps on a football field.  God is his strength no matter what he is doing.

So before the game I prayed for Tebow.  I prayed that whether he wins or not he would watch his character most of all.  Win or loose that he would feel the love of Jesus.  That he would be able to focus and do his best when needed.  But most of all that win or loose, Jesus would be glorified.

Would God say He loves football?  No, He would say He loves you.

Does God care about football?

Well, the quick answer is probably no, not really. So what about winning games?  There have been a lot of comments about God not caring about football and that He has a lot more important things to do then help the Broncos win football games.  But is that really true?  God does care about people.  He cares about Tim Tebow (Tom Brady too for that matter).  He loves Tim Tebow (and yes, Tom Brady too).  

I pray before I go to work too.  There are many things that try my patience as a teacher so every morning I pray for patience.  Patience for the children, for my co-workers, for myself when I make mistakes that seem inevitable.  Yes, God has given me compassion for children and talent to work with them; but I still need His help to get through a day sometimes.  Is Tebow praying before the game any different from me praying for patience before I go into school?  He is using his God given talent in the career he has chosen and praying for God to be glorified through it.  What could be more important to God than one of His children asking for His strength to walk out the path He has set?

When I was a kid, Psalty the Singing Songbook sang to ‘do your best and let God do the rest’.  To my six year old self that meant making half my bed and letting God do the rest.  Obviously that didn’t work.  God does want us to do our best with what He has given us.  But He also promises to never leave us or forsake us.  God doesn’t leave Tim Tebow just because he steps on a football field.  God is his strength no matter what he is doing.

So before the game tonight I prayed for Tebow.  I prayed that whether he wins or not he would watch his character most of all.  Win or loose that he would feel the love of Jesus.  That he would be able to focus and do his best when needed.  But most of all that win or loose, Jesus would be glorified.

Does God love football?  No, He loves people.

No Tolerance

     My tolerance for stories of separation between parents and children is just about zero.  I never noticed before how prevalent it is.  First there’s the news, stories of abducted or missing children among other equally horrible events happening to sweet, innocent babies.  TV shows have their share, Law & Order: SVU, Bones, even NCIS.  Eventually there’s a story-line that centers around a parent killed or a child killed.  I wouldn’t say I ever enjoyed that type of story, I don’t think I ever really thought about it.  But now, they make me sick.  Literally, physically sick to my stomach.  

     I’ve bailed on movies too.  I started watching The Secret Life of Bees one day and nearly turned it off after 5 minutes.  I did stick it out though.  It was an okay movie.  The movie that really made me realize this all was Tangled.  Yes, the Disney movie.  The fairy tale story of Rapunzel, whose long luscious hair is the only way in or out of the tower until a prince (or in this case a ruffian) sets her free, made me nauseous.  Well, not quite nauseous.  I didn’t turn it off.  But I did sit horrified as I realized how many fairy tales deal with the separation of parent and child.  (Well, they don’t really ‘deal‘ with it.)  The list is quite long.  Besides Rapunzel there’s Alladin (he’s an orphan and she’s got no mom), Lion King (Mufasa dies), Finding Nemo, The Little Mermaid (no mom, right?), Jungle Book, 101 Dalmatians, Sleeping Beauty (raised by fairies instead of parents), Snow White, Cinderella, and my personal favorite Disney movie Beauty and the Beast where not only does she not have a mom but her father is thrown out of the castle before she even gets to say goodbye! 

     Whew.  I probably could have kept going but this is not a bash Disney post.  Becoming a mom has made me hyper aware of many things and the prevalence of this plot line in stories highlights the importance of my job as a mom.  I am going back to work next week.  But my first (perhaps most important job) is being a mom, and I am so happy to be one.
     Motherhood has changed me, how has it changed you?

The Throws of Essay Writing

I'm sorry for the lack of a post recently.  Five papers due this weekend has depleted my motivation to write.  Here is something I wrote a little while ago, when I couldn't think of something to write.

I’m trying to write.  Trying to be inspired, to find that perfect prompt that will shoot me into my next story; but I am chasing shadows.  There is no perfect prompt.  It is an illusion made up by writing books and authors who have “made it”.  ‘It just came to me’ they say nonchalantly.  ‘I dreamed about that character’ they might add.  ‘The story has been rattling around in my head for ages and my friends always said it would make a good book’ another might quip.  

And then there’s me.  Apparently the only writer who doesn’t dream her characters into being during the night; full, robust beings by the time the kettle whistles.  No story rattles around my head.  No well meaning friends are begging me to put a story to paper (the begging goes in a slightly different direction).  This isn’t writer’s block.  Writer’s block implies that there is writing that is being blocked.  This is writer’s – see, I can’t even come up with an analogy to what I am going through – blank.  The complete absence of anything to write about; characters, setting, description, dialogue would all be lovely but I first need a subject.  The point of the story, the plot line needs to have its start somewhere.  First line, last line, middle of the story – I’ll start anywhere if I could just think of something to start with.  (And now I can’t even compose a sentence properly, ending with a preposition – shameful.)

So here I am doing one of the very things I detest because I cannot think of anything else to write.  I am writing about writing.  I detest it because writing is such a personal experience.  So what if big shot, New York Times Bestselling author uses a five inch by nine inch blue cloth bound journal that cost $9.95 and has blank pages with character traits listed on even pages and setting descriptions on every other odd page with plot outlines on the remaining odd pages.  It’s just not me.  Not that I don’t like the color blue (which I do) or that making lists of things is bad idea.  But writing is personal.  I do it my way.  You do it yours.  Just because my fiction professor says he only uses a single notebook (four inches by three inches, black with an elastic band) for everything, from grocery lists to chapters of his novel, doesn’t mean that I must consolidate my writing journal, a sketch book (makes me feel artsy) with the wire spiral at the top and a yellow cover; my (hmm, was about to call it deep thoughts journal but not so much) personal thoughts journal which includes my Bible notes, and the journal of ‘crazed in-the-moment thoughts and poems’ on my computer.  They do not have to become one.  Why?  Because I don’t want them to.  I like having multiple journals.  Skipping from one to another enhances my writing (at least that’s what I tell myself).  To be honest, there have been times when I have wished I didn’t have to lug three separate journals half way around the world just to record my thoughts.  But I suppose if I were to do otherwise I would not be staying true to myself.  

Even with all my journals I can’t think of anything to write, but here goes.  There once was a girl.  (How original.)  Where does she go?  Whom does she meet?  I DON’T KNOW I HAVE WRITER’S BLOCK!