27 July 2012

I Didn't Cry

I didn’t cry.
Me.  The emotional basket-case of the family.  
I didn’t cry.
The one who cries at everything.  I cried when Charlotte dies, a spider for crying out loud.  And I hate spiders (sorry Maria Montessori, but I just don’t like some of Nature’s children).  I cried when Jim Craig had his horse shot out from under him.  I cried when Dan and Ann died (getting misty now just thinking about it).  I balled my eyes out when my friend Tabitha moved the astronomical distance to Florida when we were 7.  I cried when I flew to England for a year.  I cried myself to sleep from homesickness. 
Can you imagine what I was like during pregnancy?
I cry for every sob story article people post on facebook.
I cried when I had to leave in the middle of my best friend’s wedding in Morocco just so we could catch a flight that ended up being cancelled.  I cried a lot that day.
I cry a lot.
But I didn’t.
Not this time.
Why not?
It’s goodbye.
The distances are not as astronomical (financial maybe, but not astronomical).  We will visit.  Tacoma is not that far away.  Is that why I didn’t cry?  
Maybe I’m just in denial.
Maybe the tears are around the corner.  Maybe they’re just waiting for the right time.  
Maybe I’m not going to be an emotional basket-case any more.
Um, yeah right Rachel.
I can tell as I write this, I will cry, just not yet.

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