07 December 2011

All I want for Christmas is a dog toy that will last

      This dog destroys them.  One by one, methodically pulling the strands up with his teeth or gnawing on the knot with his molars.  It doesn’t matter what brand, color or style; two knots, three knots, once we got one with five knots.  They all are reduced to shredded threads found lying around the house, carnage of yet another toy.  How many have we bought? He’s not even two years old yet and I lost count at ten.  

They make ropes with handles for playing tug-of-war.  A good idea in the store, hey, our hands won’t hurt when he pulls; a bad idea in reality, the plastic, sharp where he has chewed, cut’s into our hands.  Then he chewed the plastic handle off, then shredded the rope till I gave in and threw it away.  Sorry, boy.  It’s ‘all done’.  Sigh.  All done.  A command we taught him, complete with sign-language hands, because this dog doesn’t know when to quit.  

I told the clerk he chews, a lot.  I told him he destroys ropes.  I told him.  He suggested a stuffed lizard.  It looked tough.  It even had ‘tuff’ in the name; the tag lauding it’s abilities to hold up under teeth.  When I called to complain he said I didn’t tell him enough.  But I know I did.  He said nothing will hold up if my dog destroys kongs.  For you information posh pet store clerk, he doesn’t.  The only toys my dog destroys are ropes.  Well, and a stuffed lizard that is supposed to be “tuff”. 

Rope after rope.  Yes, he has other toys; balls, a kong and about five bones.  The bones, filled at one time or black with smoke flavoring, are stripped, creamy white and littering our floor.  Like I said, carnage.  I stubbed my toe on one once.  In the dark.  I didn’t stub it on the smooth white side, but on the end where he had cracked off bone with his teeth to make a sharp point.  The next day I had a small but perfectly round bruise on the end of my big toe.  Bones are hard and not fit for playing tug-of-war.  So we keep buying ropes.  The pink and blue rope had a ball on the end of it.  At least it did twenty minutes ago.  

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