100 Steps

Thunder rumbling,
Clouds rolling in,
Breeze picking up;
Storm’s coming.

I can smell the rain, but the birds are still singing.

I am on day two of Teacher’s Write!, a 6 week online writing workshop. Today’s prompt was a quick write: walk 100 steps in the direction of your choice, stop and write about where you are, what you see, hear, smell and feel. Unfortunately, a storm is rolling in. The kind you can hear a long way off as it rumbles towards you, the breeze bringing the smell of rain. Sitting on the porch, I have the best vantage point. Weather maps say it will come from the west, straight across the lake. I hope the rain comes like a wall across the water; when you can see exactly where it is raining and where it isn’t.

If I could walk from here, I would direct my 100 steps towards Sherman’s. The once busy arcade, carousel, and Ferris wheel from fifteen years ago; go back further and there were other rides too, kiddie roller coasters, bumper cars. Now? I would see rusted metal, peeling paint, broken glass, evidence of a bygone era, a time when business thrived, though never really boomed; the summer months at least were good. I would hear geese squawking, traffic buzzing down 29A - but no one stopping. Maybe a loon would make a haunting call to its mate.

Sometimes I wonder how much I actually see of this place and how much is just memory. Are the carousel horses still there? Gathering dust, wood rotting, growing mold in the dampness. If I could take the 100 steps, I could peer in the stain glass windows and see for my self. Or would I just see it as I remember? The creaking wood, squeaking gears, deranged music playing over and over, $1 per ride, the smell of popcorn and ice cream from the concession.

I remember riding the Ferris wheel. Rising high, higher above the pavement, looking out over the lake, stopping, reversing directions, moving backwards, faster and faster.

I remember the lights, on the Ferris wheel and the carousel, old, bare bulbs blinking on and off.

I remember feeling the wind off the water. Canoeing from our beach to the dock at Sherman’s instead of walking, just because we could.

I remember saving my dollars in the months leading up to vacation just so I could ride the carousel and Ferris wheel as many times as I wanted.

I remember which horse was my favorite. A white one with flowing mane and tale, teal saddle.

I remember the year I saved my money, but it was closed.

Now it is empty. Boarded up against thieves and weather. It didn’t make enough money. But now there are no memories to make either.

The thunder is a constant rumble now. It hasn’t stopped for several minutes. This storm is going to be a doozy.

'Empty-Calorie' Reading

    Every now and then as I am reading Young Adult Fiction, I come across a book I wish I had read when I was younger. When I finally read The Giver, I felt cheated that I hadn’t read it during my formative years. Yesterday I finished The Fog Diver by Joel Ross, and if it hadn’t been written in 2015, I would have felt the same way. 
 
    The Fog Diver describes a post-apocalyptic world where everyone travels by airships above the deadly Fog that covers the planet. Airships that are straight from a steam-punker’s dream; half blimp, half machine, with engines, valves and a pipe organ to steer it. All the markers of a perfect YA novel are there: danger, friends that stick closer than family, an evil villain and room for a sequel.
   I checked it out of the library, but forgot about it until got the reminder email that my books were due, today. I figured I’d be able to renew it, so didn’t take it with me. The librarian informed me someone has it on hold (good for them!). I bit my lip, trying to remember how long the book was, and said, ‘I think I can read it tonight’. She was sweet and reminded me I had a day of grace and that the library was closed on Sunday, so I could really have the weekend, as long as I returned it by Monday. Or, I could keep it till I’d finished and pay the .25 cents a day fine. “I’ll read it tonight,” I said with a smile. And I did. Well, almost. At 11pm I finally closed it, tantalizingly close to the finish. I was able to get the last few chapters read in the morning.
    It was fantastic, except...except that I’m not twelve anymore and I notice things. I notice what is there and what isn’t there. There was a lot of dialogue. The book is mostly dialogue, with no paragraphs of description. When there is non-dialogue description it is actually the thoughts of Chess, from whose point of view we see the world. When the author needs to give backstory he has a character ask a question and one or two other characters interrupt each other to give the story of why or where or how. It ends up feeling choppy, especially after the flowing, lyrical sentence I have been reading by E.B. White, L’engle, and Elizabeth George Speare. Do kids even know what good reading reads like anymore?
    I also ended up liking one of the supporting characters more than the main character. The book is written from Chess’ point of view, but Bea, the spunky ‘gearslinger’ who talks to the airship’s engines and treats her machines like people, ends up being the one my heart goes towards. The plot takes precedence over full-bodied characters. The characters are not fully fleshed out, but rather stereotypical (the mutineers who suddenly turn into our hero’s best friends).
    This novel has been nominated and shortlisted for a couple of awards including the Great Stone Face Award List, and I do feel that it is a good book. Perhaps it lands in the category of “empty-calorie” books. As Katherine Paterson writes in The Invisible Child,

            “We can’t snatch these empty-calorie books from our children’s hands, indeed, that would make them all the more desirable, but somehow we must make sure early on that they have books that will truly nourish them, that will enlarge their minds, that will prepare them to make wise and compassionate decisions when they are grown” (p. 94).


So don’t snatch this book away, snatch it for you child (or you!) and read it, in a sitting, in a day, in a week. It is good, like cake and ice-cream good. Just make sure you also read the 'meat and potatoes', something more substantial, something that will stretch your mind and fill you up with good writing.

Picture from www.amazon.com, cover art is copyrighted.

Making A Start

By chance I picked up Katherine Paterson’s book The Invisible Child: On Reading and Writing Books for Children at the library. Isn’t that how all great book recommendations start? The best books are the ones you aren’t looking for, that you don’t know you even need to read. This is definitely on of them. The Invisible Child is a collection of speeches and talks that Paterson has given ranging from 1974 into the 2000s. It contains her Newbury and National Book Award speeches as well as a number of other talks from conferences. 

This book has been stirring me to read the books I was inspired by as an adolescent. What books captured my attention, my mind, my heart when I was nine or ten years old? So I have returned to the books I have kept since childhood. Faithfully packing and unpacking through several moves. Books I can not get rid of, no matter how many yard sales I have. It’s not that I have good memories of these books, no, these books are my memories. So I have been gobbling up the Newbury Award winners of my youth: Katherine Paterson, Margeurite Henry, Elizabeth Enright, Elizabeth George Speare. I am trying to learn from them. Study their style, rhythm, what makes their characters so relatable and memorable. What is the rhythm of their sentences? How does the story unfold? I want to learn from these masters, mentors, but without copying. Of course, I’m also enjoying just reading them.
 
As I re-read these cherished books, Katherine Paterson’s words ring true, “There is something so comforting about the beloved books of childhood. When the uncertainties of life assail us, they stand as healing verities, and we can return to them again and again. But only, of course, if someone helped us to find those books when we were very young” (95).

That’s what I want to write. A book that captures that young imagination and tells that shy, introverted child there is adventure out there, or at least in here, between the pages. Life may be a bit boring and monotonous, but you can escape into a book filled with adventure and new worlds.
So I have made a start. First by filling my head with rich words from amazing authors, then by actually writing down the stories that are running through my head. We shall see what adventure awaits...

This Fight Isn't Over

Dressember is officially over. At least on my end. Wearing a dress for 31 days ended up being a bigger challenge than I thought it would be; I was definitely sick of wearing the same 5 dresses that ended up being my best options. Personally I learned that I should wear my dresses more often because I really like wearing dresses, and I learned which ones I should put in the Goodwill bag (not this purple one).

I also learned a lot about the work of organizations like International Justice Mission and A21. It is heartbreaking work, very young children sexually exploited by those who should be their biggest protectors or women who follow what seems to be an opportunity to better themselves but were lied to and now caught in dangerous situations.

Over the month of December, with the help of amazing family and friends, I raised $786. I was short of my $1000 goal, which at first feels like failure (thank you perfectionism) but that money will help IJM and A21 to rescue and rehabilitate men, women and children who have had their freedom and dignity stripped away. These organizations will try to restore what was taken and help them live their lives dignity. Dressember is over, but this battle is still ongoing.

Today is Human Trafficking Awareness Day. I have become much more aware of this over the past month. The statistics are heartbreaking, but these organizations are working to change that. "It is estimated that every 30 seconds someone becomes a victim of human trafficking. Only 1-2% of victims are ever rescued, and the average age of a victim is 12 years old." (Dressember Facebook page) If you want to be more aware, and hear wonderful, uplifting rescue stories, 'like' International Justice Mission on Facebook. They post stories of rescues and updates on their work around the world.

I am also happy to say my donation page is still live and will be till the end of the month! There is still time to donate and help me reach my $1000 goal!

support.dressemberfoundation.org/rachelengelman

Day 18: I don't want to wear a dress

I really didn’t want to wear a dress yesterday. I took the dog for the run early in the morning and didn’t have a chance to shower before the kids got up. We didn’t have plans to go anywhere, so I really just wanted to stay in my running clothes (it was a colder morning, so no sweat). I kept telling myself that I just wouldn't today. Justifying it with excuses of not showering, not leaving the house, no one will see it any way, etc. But I kept thinking about the men, women and children caught in slavery, no choices, no dignity, no freedom.

I put on a dress, because I believe it is bigger than a dress. The dress represents my freedom and dignity. It represents everything these men, women and children deserve in life.

I really didn't want to wear a dress yesterday. She really doesn't want to have sex. I have a choice. She doesn't, for now. My choice can help change that. Will you help me? Please go to support.dressemberfoundation.org/rachelengelman

Dressy Dresses and the first 6 Days

Day 3 - this one has pockets :)

Day 2 - cold day means
sweater dress

Day 1 - wearing red for #bebrave

It's day 7 and I miss pockets. It’s helpful to be able to whip out a tissue before the booger hits the couch. Or have my phone handy to capture the fleeting moment when Cora is gently guiding Toby instead of pulling a toy from him. I do have a few dresses with pockets and so far have gravitated to those, but I’ve been trying to figure out a solution. Sweaters with pockets? Cargo vest? Maybe that’s why fanny packs were so huge during the spandex-clad 80’s. 

Day 6 - dress repeat, because this
one has pockets, and it's a sweater!

Day 5 - same dress, today we
got our Christmas tree

Day 4 - this dress has no pockets,
but I feel it should. Sewing project?

 






I’ve also found that a dress is, well, dressy. Even though I may try to “dress it down” by wearing boots instead of heels or funky jewelry, it’s still dressy. A dress stands out in my day-to-day life of dropping Cora off at school, grocery shopping and walking the dog. Just wearing a dress has given me the opportunity to share about Dressember’s goal of bringing dignity to all women and the courageous work of International Justice Mission. I have read on Dressember’s Facebook page about women who wear semiformal dresses, just to get that reaction. I’m not sure I’ll go to the back of my closet and pull out my pale purple prom dress quite yet, but you never know, I have 24 days left.

Missing pockets is better than missing a childhood. Go to support.dressemberfoundation.org/rachelengelman to join me in giving children back their childhood.

Freedom. Dignity. Creativity.

“Because we believe we can’t be super advocates, we stop advocating at all.”

I am about to embark on a journey. To wear a dress every day for the month of December. It is a challenge that at first seems frivolous and unimportant, but on closer look, perhaps it is just the thing to get people's attention.

What: Dressember is a campaign started by Blythe Hill (watch her TED talk here). Originally she wore a dress every day of December because she was bored and needed a creative outlet. When friends of friends and women she didn’t know started doing it with her, she knew she had a movement, and a way of changing the world through wearing a dress. This is Dressember’s third year partnering with International Justice Mission, an organization “that protects the poor from violence in the developing world” (www.ijm.org). The statistics are heartbreaking: it is estimated that over 35 million people are currently trapped in slavery in our world, 50% of them are children, 70% are female. IJM actively rescues those caught in slavery and the sex trade, works with victims and courts to bring justice, and helps with rehabilitation for the victims.

What caught my attention: I’ve read stories of human trafficking. All are heartbreaking, but the stories of children break my heart the most. Children as young as my own sweet girl, and younger. I’ve wanted to do something, but what? That is always the question. What can I do? How can I make a difference? I’m a stay-at-home mom. My interests are reading and writing and cups of tea. My life is consumed with diapers, getting dressed in the morning and pjs at night, driving to and fro. As Blythe says in her talk, my interests seem shallow compared to the overwhelming evil. So what can I do?
Thanks to Facebook, I found out about Dressember where I commit to wearing a dress every day of the month of December, and you sponsor me.
I like wearing dresses. I counted how many I have in my closet and (including fancy dresses) there are thirteen. Thirteen dresses. And that doesn’t include my summer ones I’ve packed away for the winter. So, yes, I like wearing dresses, but I am also a jeans girl and this will be all month long. In December. In New Hampshire. Whatever discomfort I will have will be nothing compared to what those caught in slavery and human trafficking endure. I will be posting pictures of my dress journey here throughout the month.

So, will you join me? I am not a super advocate, but I will be a voice. Will you speak up with me? My fundraising page can be found here.